Momologues

© by Suraj Holzwarth 2022 There is nothing more intense, no labor harder, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, nothing more...

I sat alone at the kitchen table. My daughter on a stool at the counter with her breakfast. I started to sob. again. A continuation from...

Tonight I treated myself with a bubble bath the water filled to the tippy-top, As I lie in the tub I am drawn to the effervescent sound...

My first husband was dissatisfied with his mother and when later in our marriage, he fell on hard times, he made it clear that he...

I would say my life has been defined in a large part by the lack of agency my mother had in her choice to have children. She was married...

I didn’t understand with my first child how much historic trauma had damaged my ability to be touched and express love with my kids. I ...

Three. For some reason three was the magic number in my head. Number one was so hard to conceive, to carry, to birth, to nurture. Number...

My entry into motherhood wasn't sunshine and daisies. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I was scared. And I remained scared for...

7 yo: I need a bandaid. Me: For what? 7 yo: My knee. Me: What’s wrong with your knee? 7 yo: I’m afraid it’s going to faint. :: After...

My husband was out of town for the day of my scheduled checkup. Home with our first born (via emergency cesarean), I was well into my...

I spent eight months worrying about what it would be like when I finally went into labor. I had heard so many stories about painful birth...

When I was in college, after a spell of indiscriminate sex partners who were not at all interesting or good to me, I met an artist who...

As a college student in the early 1980's, I married young and briefly, and had two abortions. I trusted a man who turned out not to be ...

It’s almost 1am here. I’m wide awake after cleaning up the vomit filled bed of my eight year old. I’m also pregnant with my third child,...

She was trying to become pregnant after so much planning. She’s so smart, such a planner. She was so thrilled to finally get a positive...

My husband and I already had two beautiful, healthy children that were well into self-sufficient ages. Two children were all we could...

I spent the first night of my son’s life with only him in the hospital, as my husband was tired and needed to go home to sleep. I didn’t...

My childhood was filled with intense emotional and physical abuse. My mother was a single mom in the 80’s. My mother was mentally ill, ...

Listen, I never liked kids before having my own. I never cared about childhood development. I never knew babies were whole humans that...

"My mother is a grandmother now she says to me let’s catch up so I put my book down take a deep breath say sure and she is already...

Birth and death seem to go hand in hand. The immense feelings, emotions, and experiences that come with motherhood are unexplainable, ...