My Son Didn't Mean to Hate Me.
My first husband was dissatisfied with his mother and when later in our marriage, he fell on hard times, he made it clear that he...
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Momologues
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- Jan 2
My mother looked down at her hands and said…"I’m pregnant."
I would say my life has been defined in a large part by the lack of agency my mother had in her choice to have children. She was married...
- Sep 23, 2022
How Our Generational Parenting Practices Were Interrupted
I didn’t understand with my first child how much historic trauma had damaged my ability to be touched and express love with my kids. I ...
- Sep 23, 2022
The Sonogram Tech Gave Me No Signs
Three. For some reason three was the magic number in my head. Number one was so hard to conceive, to carry, to birth, to nurture. Number...
- Jul 28, 2022
Strike One, Strike Two, Strike Three
My entry into motherhood wasn't sunshine and daisies. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I was scared. And I remained scared for...
- Jul 23, 2022
Conversations with My Seven Year Old
7 yo: I need a bandaid. Me: For what? 7 yo: My knee. Me: What’s wrong with your knee? 7 yo: I’m afraid it’s going to faint. :: After...
- Jul 13, 2022
The sound of that heartbeat cemented my faith
My husband was out of town for the day of my scheduled checkup. Home with our first born (via emergency cesarean), I was well into my...
- Jul 11, 2022
I had never felt so much love as when she was placed in my arms.
I spent eight months worrying about what it would be like when I finally went into labor. I had heard so many stories about painful birth...
- Jul 11, 2022
I was not ready to make this commitment, and neither was he.
When I was in college, after a spell of indiscriminate sex partners who were not at all interesting or good to me, I met an artist who...
- Jul 11, 2022
It was a time when abortion was legal and accessible
As a college student in the early 1980's, I married young and briefly, and had two abortions. I trusted a man who turned out not to be ...
- Jul 10, 2022
We were not ready to start a family.
It’s almost 1am here. I’m wide awake after cleaning up the vomit filled bed of my eight year old. I’m also pregnant with my third child,...
- Jul 10, 2022
Abortions are health care.
She was trying to become pregnant after so much planning. She’s so smart, such a planner. She was so thrilled to finally get a positive...
- Jul 10, 2022
I know my healing continues as I share my story
My husband and I already had two beautiful, healthy children that were well into self-sufficient ages. Two children were all we could...
- Jul 10, 2022
I can’t believe this choice is being taken away from us
I spent the first night of my son’s life with only him in the hospital, as my husband was tired and needed to go home to sleep. I didn’t...
- Jul 10, 2022
It’s hard to be a mom when the word MOTHER somewhere in your psyche terrifies you
My childhood was filled with intense emotional and physical abuse. My mother was a single mom in the 80’s. My mother was mentally ill, ...
- Jul 10, 2022
You never fully get the true picture of your own childhood until you parent your own child
Listen, I never liked kids before having my own. I never cared about childhood development. I never knew babies were whole humans that...
- Jul 10, 2022
My mother is a grandmother now.
"My mother is a grandmother now she says to me let’s catch up so I put my book down take a deep breath say sure and she is already...
- Jul 10, 2022
We all are born, we live and we all die, but fuck cancer.
Birth and death seem to go hand in hand. The immense feelings, emotions, and experiences that come with motherhood are unexplainable, ...
- Jul 10, 2022
Nine months later, the same woman who counseled me for my abortion delivered my perfect baby boy
I knew I was pregnant. That’s not why I made an appointment at the family planning clinic. It wasn’t my first time in this situation,...
- Jul 10, 2022
Thirty years ago, I went to that Anchorage clinic
My partner and his 1st wife had a baby girl born with anencephaly (underdeveloped brain and incomplete skull). He held her; SHE carried...
- Jul 10, 2022
At my best friend's place, I took the medication with my mother by my side.
I was 26 years old. I had recently launched my own company. I had only recently begun to develop trust in my own ability to understand...
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