Momologues

May 8

Mother of Pearl

Mar 23

Birthday Cake

I sat alone at the kitchen table. My daughter on a stool at the counter with her breakfast. I started to sob. again. A continuation from...

Mar 22

Dripping from the Water of Yesterday‘s Bath

Tonight I treated myself with a bubble bath the water filled to the tippy-top, As I lie in the tub I am drawn to the effervescent sound...

Jan 2

My Son Didn't Mean to Hate Me.

My first husband was dissatisfied with his mother and when later in our marriage, he fell on hard times, he made it clear that he...

Jan 2

My mother looked down at her hands and said…"I’m pregnant."

I would say my life has been defined in a large part by the lack of agency my mother had in her choice to have children. She was married...

Sep 23, 2022

How Our Generational Parenting Practices Were Interrupted

I didn’t understand with my first child how much historic trauma had damaged my ability to be touched and express love with my kids. I ...

Sep 23, 2022

The Sonogram Tech Gave Me No Signs

Three. For some reason three was the magic number in my head. Number one was so hard to conceive, to carry, to birth, to nurture. Number...

Jul 28, 2022

Strike One, Strike Two, Strike Three

My entry into motherhood wasn't sunshine and daisies. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I was scared. And I remained scared for...

Jul 23, 2022

Conversations with My Seven Year Old

7 yo: I need a bandaid. Me: For what? 7 yo: My knee. Me: What’s wrong with your knee? 7 yo: I’m afraid it’s going to faint. :: After...

Jul 13, 2022

The sound of that heartbeat cemented my faith

My husband was out of town for the day of my scheduled checkup. Home with our first born (via emergency cesarean), I was well into my...

Jul 11, 2022

I had never felt so much love as when she was placed in my arms.

I spent eight months worrying about what it would be like when I finally went into labor. I had heard so many stories about painful birth...

Jul 11, 2022

I was not ready to make this commitment, and neither was he.

When I was in college, after a spell of indiscriminate sex partners who were not at all interesting or good to me, I met an artist who...

Jul 11, 2022

It was a time when abortion was legal and accessible

As a college student in the early 1980's, I married young and briefly, and had two abortions. I trusted a man who turned out not to be ...

Jul 10, 2022

We were not ready to start a family.

It’s almost 1am here. I’m wide awake after cleaning up the vomit filled bed of my eight year old. I’m also pregnant with my third child,...

Jul 10, 2022

Abortions are health care.

She was trying to become pregnant after so much planning. She’s so smart, such a planner. She was so thrilled to finally get a positive...

Jul 10, 2022

I know my healing continues as I share my story

My husband and I already had two beautiful, healthy children that were well into self-sufficient ages. Two children were all we could...

Jul 10, 2022

I can’t believe this choice is being taken away from us

I spent the first night of my son’s life with only him in the hospital, as my husband was tired and needed to go home to sleep. I didn’t...

Jul 10, 2022

It’s hard to be a mom when the word MOTHER somewhere in your psyche terrifies you

My childhood was filled with intense emotional and physical abuse. My mother was a single mom in the 80’s. My mother was mentally ill, ...

Jul 10, 2022

You never fully get the true picture of your own childhood until you parent your own child

Listen, I never liked kids before having my own. I never cared about childhood development. I never knew babies were whole humans that...

Jul 10, 2022

My mother is a grandmother now.

"My mother is a grandmother now she says to me let’s catch up so I put my book down take a deep breath say sure and she is already...

Jul 10, 2022

We all are born, we live and we all die, but fuck cancer.

Birth and death seem to go hand in hand. The immense feelings, emotions, and experiences that come with motherhood are unexplainable, ...