My kid is _ years old and the idea of talking to them about sex feels…My Sex ed looked like….

• Talking to my 8 year old about sex feels good/comfortable because I haven’t really gotten to the big stuff yet. Haha! My own sex Ed was very limited.

• Talking to my 8 year old daughter about sex feels vulnerable- scary and empowering. My own sex ed was scarce, unrealistic and problematic. I feel angry when I think about my own sex ed. 

  
  

• Talking to my 11 year old about sex feels tricky trying to balance open age appropriate information while honoring their innocence. My own sex ed did not include consent or pregnancy prevention enough. 

  
  

• Age 6: feels straightforward…. for now (Thank you Cory Silverberg) My own looked like: leaving books out for me to find and read alone, feeling confused and no one to talk to.

  
  

• … I need to stop over talking and let her ask the questions…I’m over compensating because I got NOTHING.

  
  

• Talking to my 12 year old about sex feels one sided. My own sex ed was over the top and constantly in my face, as my Mother was an employee of Planned Parenthood at the time, and ran a tween girls groups to discuss menstrual cycles at the family planning clinic. In fact, she used me as an example in some of these groups ie. my underarm hair growth, which turned out to be harmful on the school playground as peers that had attended these sessions would make fun of me for knowing my puberty status after hearing about it from my Mother. 

  
  

• Talking with my 10 year old kid about sex feels very different than talking with my 11 year old kid. The 10 year old has so many questions and is so expressive and inquisitive and my 11 year old is just like mom ew!! Stop!  My own sex ed was very awkward and in 4th/5th grade at school. 

  
  

• Talking to my 12 and 9 year olds about s*x feels like an opportunity to create an open dialogue that centers a body & s*x positive narrative around this topic. My own s*x ed was through public school health class and friends, nonexistent from parents, rigid and frowned upon messaging from Catholic Church.

  
  

• Talking to my kid age 5 about s*x feels confusing but important.  I’d like to get better at finding the words and appropriate level of communication for her, as well as dig around in my own feelings of hesitation.  My own s*x ed was totally non-existent, maybe an hour class in school mostly about anatomy.  My parents avoided the topic, even as a teenager when I became active.  I only became more educated through experience and curiosity and some from activist/anarchist friends in my life with very open communication.

  
  

• Talking to my 13 year old son regarding sex ed feels like a deepening of trust between us & a strengthening of our relationship. My Own “sex ed” consisted of an East Basket of gold coin chocolates mixed in with condoms, courtesy of the East Bunny. Mom remained non-participatory and silent despite my asking. 

  
  

• 💛1/16: Talking to my kid (9) about s*x feels awkward/confusing but necessary. We talk about consent, privacy, and body functions/sensations at the moment. My own s*x ed looked like literally zero communication at his age. It feels like I cannot even remember having a body back then.

  
  

• Talking to my then 13 year old about sex feels empowering. My own sex ed looked like a book called Where do Babies Come from in which the sperm wears a top hat. I also remember watching a video in catholic school about abstinence and the human body. 

  
  

• 💛1/16: Talking to my kid (age 9) about s*x feels natural. My daughter and I have a very open line of communication and I want her to feel comfortable talking to me about anything. We haven’t approached the actual birds and the bees conversation yet, but we have talked about puberty and body changes and what will happen. I provided her a basic understanding and let her lead the conversation with questions. My own s*x ed looked like…? Basic. I did not have much of a discussion with parents on that subject, they were very young still and it was a different time back then. It must have not been much of an impactful conversation because I do not remember any of it. I ended up getting on birth control pretty young due to very intense periods, so I think they maybe didn’t worry as much since I was already ‘protected’. I learned a lot through health class in school, talking with friends, etc. I have made it a point to make sure my daughters will be fully aware of what will happen and try to make it a conversation and hopefully not awkward.

  
  

• Talking to my 13 year old about sex feels obstacled and like something that involves great craftiness. There is a lot of resistance on her part and honestly I don’t often know where to start. I cannot sit down with her and have A big talk or THE big talk. I really don’t like the feeling of forcing information on her when she doesn’t want it. But what I do seem to be able to do is it give her tiny little snippets all over the place all the time. I’ve been doing that for years. For instance, I’ve wanted her to know that her sex parts on the outside of her body is called a vulva, not a vagina. I actually didn’t know that as a girl. The other day I let her overhear me talk to my sister about her UTI. I mentioned to my sister that if she spent more time getting fully aroused before sex, that the urethral tube would fully engorge and that would prevent the back-flow of bacteria up the urethra during sex~and may help prevent getting a UTI. That’s sort of a niche fact that I don’t imagine my daughter needing for a long time, but I wanted her to hear me comfortably and happily talking that way to my sister on the phone without shame or secrecy. I think a lot of success in sex is about having good information. When she was younger, like 10, I took a lot of care to teach her about consent. I felt like that was a very important fundamental concept. Now I try to let her come to me with what she wants to share, and I notice the elements in her stories that seem to have a sexual charge for her. They are pretty simple and innocent things at the moment, like holding hands, or sharing the same fork, but I try to just sound curious and delighted with those little stories when she tells me. I hope that just makes it easy and appealing to come to me as things come up. My own sex ed was very minor. I didn’t get a lot of information before things happened. I also didn’t get the idea that my mom (or anyone really) was trying to pepper me with information or things to think about. Freshman year I had a boyfriend that I was making out with and he came over one day and I gave him a hickey. My parents teased me about that in a way that was good natured (although that was embarrassing ).  At my high school, we had an abstinence based sex ed program, pretty dry. When I was 16 and had a boyfriend, my mom said to me, “well, I hope you’re not having sex with him.” I actually wasn’t, but that was sort of a foreboding way up setting up our ability to communicate about it. 

  
  

• Talking to my 6 year old and my 9 year old kids (separately) about sex feels honest, empowering, and also uncomfortable. It feels like risk prevention or, more honestly, risk mitigation. It feels like an enormous privilege. My own sex education looked like my mom recommending a book, somewhere around 11 or 12 years old. I have no recollection of discussing sex with anyone other than my girlfriends.

  
  

• Talking to my 3 kids at age (10, 8and 8yrs) in an appropriate level for their age development felt empowering and responsible. I knew it was important because my own sex ed was limited although I had caring attentive parents. The limited communication was a direct result of my insecurity and susceptibility for being taken advantage of during my teen years.

  
  

• Talking to my kid age 16 & 20 about sex feels still taboo overall. Like it's difficult to be frank and honest and open. Doesn't seem like it should be so hard, but of course it is when sex is still generally taboo to talk about. My own sex ed looked like my mom mentioning something long after I’d already had sex. I've never spoken to my father about sex. I didn't have a single mentor or confidante about sex as a young teen trying to figure it all out. Wish there would have been someone, anyone! Who would have been able to demystify, make explicit, make light of, be bawdy, lovingly tease, tell jokes, be serious about and share all the possibilities and perils around sex.

  
  

• Female kid age 26, male kid age 24 talking to them currently about sex is non-existent. When they were growing up I told my daughter she could ask me anything. Husband presumably told son he could ask his dad anything. My own sex ed was one of my most vivid memories: I remember my mom being very agitated, sitting on the couch, and stating to my older sister; she wanted me to learn about “that stuff” on the streets!!!

  
  

• Talking to my kids (23 and 21) about sex feels essential. My own sex ed was bare bones and not memorable. My parents never talked to me about sex, that I can remember. It did not include critical pieces like consent.

  
  

• Talking to my kid age 5 feels early. My husband has told him that babies come after mom and dad had a “spend the night.” I have told him that I had an egg that dad’s sperm fertilized. I have told him there are different ways to fertilize eggs. My own sex life was initially stunted and later unhealthy because it was forbidden. No sex before marriage in my culture. I got lucky in that I met my kind husband early after I came into myself sexually. His kindness and respect helped me find a healthy way. It has changed a lot since baby #1 and baby #2 .

  
  

• Talking to my 10 year old about sex feels clunky and awkward. My own s*x ed looked like 1 very dry lesson plan from a very uncomfortable woman who had no connection to me or any girl in my class. 

  
  

• Talking to my 5 and 7 year old about sex feels like riiight around the corner. We’ve always used anatomical names for our body parts, which I thought was a huge win considering I didn’t know my vulva was my vulva, and not my vagina until in my 20s. We talk about what consent is. Which, now that I think about it, I also didn’t really know about until my 20s. It’s got to be a start, right? 

• When my children were adolescents and early teens, it could feel more awkward to talk to them about sex than it does now as adults. They have always been pretty open with me about the health aspects of sex, such as protection and birth control. None of us seem to be eager to talk about sex like you would with a friend—like about positions or what turns you on. I guess to summarize—we openly acknowledge it exists and we do it, but we don’t get into the details. Another thought—I have learned a lot from them and their generation about acceptance and different ways of being (healthy) in the world of sex and relationships. I give a lot of credit to my close female adult friends and bio sisters for also being there for them as adult confidants when navigating tricky situations that they weren’t open to discussing with us at times. It truly takes a village in the teen years.

  
  

• Talking to my kid that’s 8 about sex feels important, scaffolded, age appropriate and all about helping them develop healthy reciprocal relationships, with autonomy, agency, boundaries and consent. My own sex ed looked nothing like this. It looked like blame and shame surrounded by lack of communications all within the context of religion and saving myself for my future husband. 

  
  

• 11-18 so feelings are variable. Usually I feel excited and anxious to talk with teens about sex. It’s a bit more awkward/uncomfortable with the younger ages for me because they are often uncomfortable. I like to have discussions about honoring what they want to do (rather than doing something because someone rise wants them to) and overall safety first. Then talking about enjoyment in age appropriate way. It feels empowering to provide education with neutrality and positivity around sex since my own sex ed was portrayed as ‘sex was bad and you were bad/less worthy if you did it.

  
  

• Talking to my kid, age 10, about sex feels awkward.  My own sex ed was mostly self taught, although I think l learned about Santa Claus and how babies are made on the same day…

  
  

• 1/16 My kids are 11 & 13.  Talking to them about s*x feels complicated, important, and intimidating—I worry I might say something wrong, or not know what to say, or forget to say something I should, broach a topic too soon, or too late, or make it such a big deal to talk about that they won’t ask me questions.

  
  

• Talking to my kid (8) about sex feels like an act of revolt against how I was taught. Sex ed for me, looked like discovering Dad’s Playboys in the family bathroom, under the extra toilet paper, and watching 80’s horror movies. “Close your eyes” he’d say, and we would undoubtedly peek inbetween our fingers. In my (very) early teens, Cosmopolitan became my proper, How-to-guide for me and my friends, who were all curious and “horny” too. I’m glad I had a peer group that made me feel confident about experiencing, but I certainly felt pressure to perform and to please, firstly. It worked. It worked for a long, long time.