When talking to your kids about sex & their changing bodies, what is helpful? What is not?

• When talking to my daughter about "hintocourse" or her changing body I find the most helpful thing is to let her start the conversation. If she makes a little comment related to her body or romance or intimacy, it opens up a window for me to make one or two well chosen remarks. Beyond that, she will shut down. Little bits, all of over place, with relaxed good humor seems to be the best way for the information to be transmitted. I trust that things will emerge as she's ready for them. I tend to study her and wait in open anticipation. Plus any chance I get I talk about things in terms of myself.

  
  

• When providing information about my 9 year old girls' changing body to her, I have found it helpful to retell some of my own experiences (even if some of these are re-invented) in order to show her that it's ok to feel awkward, and that she's not alone.

  
  

• We try to make it as casual and often as possible; working some small details into conversation often. We set the tone of easy going , non embarrassing chat to avoid them feeling like they are on the spot and focus of it. Sharing our own experience w/ puberty .

  
  

• It's helpful to be frank, open, honest and unembarrassed. My daughter says: Not treating s*x as a taboo subject. Like when one talks about periods etc, it's important not to hide the subject from people including men in your life.

  
  

• Not helpful: Comparing your child to others. Telling them NO. can't do that at all and putting down others their age who do it Helpful: keeping condoms available to them and any friends Being friends with any boyfriend or girlfriend Encouraging physical activities with all friends. Being open to conversations about sex.

  
  

• What is helpful is letting them drive the conversation and ask what they want to know rather than dumping information on them.

  
  

• It's been helpful to be open to talking about anything whenever the topic comes up. Most of the time the questions come right before bedtime or in the middle of the night. We often have to spend 30 plus minutes unpacking everything and highlighting that his feelings, concerns and questions are normal. The book Sex is a funny word helped make his questions relatable and he felt more empowered to ask after the book was present in our house.

  
  

• I thought it might be really cringey to talk about developmental changes with my son, but I've found as much as he giggles and says minimal words in response- he appreciates me speaking toward what is to come. I talk openly toward the overarching benchmarks of the next few months or years- and within those rambles, he finds what he can relate to- to orient and stabilize himself in a sea of unknowns. It seems easier for him to know that it's normal and that there's no reason to feel awkward or shame, etc. He can face it with confidence.

  
  

• Whether it be my teenager or 4 year old, I am anatomically accurate --- I have been interrupted trying to answer this question so many times that I now am totally deflated.

  
  

• I found that it was helpful to let the child lead the conversation. I kept talking as long as it seemed like they were still interested and engaged in the conversation, and unless there was an important piece of information I felt like I needed to pass along, I let the subject die when they started to disengage. I found it helpful to let them feel like they could come to me, but keep their own boundaries when they felt like they had talked about something enough.

  
  

• Keeping the lines of communication open - talking clearly and making it comfortable.

  
  

• What's helpful: listening, asking them what they already know or have heard. Discussing universal and social norms, how those differ for each family and agreements that we are hoping they will consider before having s3x or starting a family. Listening without judgement.