That I would need to be "pampered". That I'm so bad it shows on the outside for someone to say that to me
Like a chore. Like a thing that didn't have a name but happened all the time before I became a mother and wife. Now it has a name and feels like just another thing I'm not getting done.
Self care is for people without kids
Triggered. Fuck self-care. Burn and bury that phrase. It's a word that means privilege and not many of us have it. Now I'm all ruffled! Lol
Like extra work. Something else to check off my list.
Hmmm. When you are a single mom, there is no such thing as self-care. From the time you get up to the time you fall into bed, you are constantly at someone else's beck and call.
Slightly triggering, with a quick , "I don't have time for that." But after a breath or two comes the reminder of all the things that I do to take good care of myself. It's a rather long list. With that reminder, I calm down.
Impossible to fit in
At times it feels like that is out of reach! Even when I want to take time for just me , I tend to give others what they need instead!
Like I want to tell someone to suck it! Then I laugh because self care means something different for everyone. For me it's not about what I do to take care of myself -self care means I get the freedom to decide at any given moment what I want to do- read, drink, eat crap food whatever I want that does not depend on permission or another persons needs. So I guess that's why self care can often be a laughable notion.
Like it's one more thing for me to do.
Superfluous. Something I might focus on if I get extra time. The last line item on my to-do list... I can go a bit longer before I require any.
Like a sick joke. What we need is society supporting women: giving us dignity by trusting our medical decisions be made between us & our Dr, male contraceptives so that we don't need to be the ones *always* stressing, paid maternity with realistic timing, equal pay, & an education system that isn't going back to the dark ages & getting shot up like a war zone by maniacs buying assault weapons. A goddamn bath ain't gonna do anything, we need a sea change.
Unachievable. I wish it meant a quiet day at the beach.
Unsettling. I strongly endorse SELF CARE, when I'm speaking to my patients, my parents, my co-workers, my friends, my husband and even my children. I even schedule self care (in one hour increments about 3 days/wk). But when I embark on my self care time, I struggle to focus. My mind wanders. Did I pay the mortgage? Do I have enough to pay the mortgage? Did I clock out of work? Does my dad have dementia? Does my daughter have dyslexia? Why does my mother in law hate me? Why do I over-commit, over and over and over again?
*insert eye roll here* I'll just add that to my "to- do" list.
The words self-care makes me feel angry. It's a catch phrase, it's something that feels like white privilege or "wealthy women privilege" - something that's not realistic or achievable for the average overworked, overwhelmed, everyday mom. It's one more thing to add to the ever growing list of things we're supposed to find time to do.
I fucking hate hearing "self-care."
Honestly a little "played out". Let's normalize taking care of ourselves all the time! This week I'm seeing my OBGYN, going to therapy, getting a massage and then going to the spa with my friends. This is mostly because I had an epic meltdown earlier this week. I waited too long to take care of myself. Do it everyday ladies. Take care of you.
Filling your cup
I think the term is overused and most mothers can't afford to do self care of any kind. Either it's too expensive, they have no help with the kids or they work long hours. It's a nice thought and there are small things you can do that might involve self care but finding time/resources/free time to take part in it is a whole different story.
It always makes me roll my eyes a little. We all need self care I'm sure, but for moms, who so often are everything to everyone in the family, it feels impossible. Throw in any sort of job, especially trying to be competent and earn a living with a craft or as an artist, and it just feels impossible. I cannot pee without a child, my partner, or the dog walking in to talk to me - how in the hell am I supposed to find time for self care?
Anxiety provoking. Like a other fucking dot on the to do list. Can't we just "be well" or something that doesn't insinuate a have to do. Some days I drink water. Others a bottle of wine. 😬
Daunting but working on making time everyday
I have a lot of self care routines - I work out, take care of my skin, cook healthy food, go on dates with my husband .... but it sure takes a hell of a lot of work to make all that happen. Strange "balance" in life.
Self care what's that?!?! For me I find time at the end of the day to soak in a hot bath of Epsom salt and oils. I just lay there and soak away the pain in my body and aches of the day.
These days - a solo trip anywhere feels "good". Time away. No responsibilities. No crying. No "mumma, mumma." I need more "self care".
When someone says "self-care," I feel largely triggered, but I know that this is largely due to my workplace and how they attempted to "take care" of their employees during the seemingly unending height of the COVID pandemic. I know I am not alone in this experience. Separate from that, though, I feel ignorant to what "self-care" truly means. I have been spouted at from advertisements, family members, friends, and more that self-care is built of non-sustainable quick fixes: bubble baths, walking, pedicures, "taking time for you." The thought of self-care triggers stress in me and aversion; I don't have time for it, and bubble baths won't fix me. What I know I NEED is a sustainable, life-changing (small or large) switch. But, I have not seen, or perhaps I am unwilling to see, self-care in action that I want and can see taking on in my life.
Self care has started to feel like it's another thing on my to do list...that I didn't do but I should have ...cue self hate spiral. Fuck self care. I want to be cared by others; my family, my employer, my community, my country.
Guilt. I kind of hate the phrase. Maybe I'm jaded maybe I'm jealous of those who can partake in self care, either way I truly dislike those words
self care is turning my brain off for five seconds and doing nothing.