top of page

I fell pregnant again 7 months later

Updated: Jan 4, 2023

I was only 23, just started my first “big girl” job. I was engaged, but my fiancé was involved in an unpaid apprenticeship. My god we were so poor. I found out I was pregnant at right around five weeks. All I kept thinking was “I don’t want people to be disappointed in me. I should have been smarter.” In all actuality, I was on the pill. Just a statistical BC pregnancy, I guess. But I knew my parents would be disappointed. I had a wedding to be in 6 months down the road and thought my friend would be so angry that I couldn’t participate in normal wedding festivities if I was pregnant. We were 13 states away from any and all support system. I truly felt I couldn’t keep that baby. It took me a few weeks to gather the money it would take for the procedure. I was seven weeks pregnant when I took the little pills and I sat in my house and bawled for two days while cramping, bleeding, and passing the sack. It’s what I wanted at the time but it mentally wrecked me. Our relationship suffered, I felt I had robbed a little life. I felt like I had robbed us of an alternate future. However, I can’t say 100% that I wish I had kept the pregnancy - still using the same BC pill I did for years, I fell pregnant again seven months later. What the fuck. I kept him, and he’s a thriving eight year old boy who I never could imagine my life without. If I had kept the first pregnancy, I would have never had him. It’s been nine years since that happened and I still think every day of my decision. Who would that baby have been? Was it a boy or a girl? Would we have been able to scrape by if I kept it? Were the years of secondary infertility I had after my son some sort of karmic revenge on my abortion? I’ll never have answers. Regardless of my own mental anguish, I’m thankful every day for the LEGAL services I received. I was prepped by an amazing medics staff at Planned Parenthood. They called me to check in on me. They offered my counseling services. I cannot imagine women being put in the position I was and having to seek out a back door abortion… women will die.

Thank for giving a platform. I’ve only told a few close friends. It feels nice to not feel so alone.

11 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

My Son Didn't Mean to Hate Me.

My first husband was dissatisfied with his mother and when later in our marriage, he fell on hard times, he made it clear that he expected me to fill that mommy void in his life. This happened soon a


bottom of page