top of page

I knew we’d made a mistake that night

If Led Zepplin was the soundtrack of my awakening to my own body in my late teens, a heady mix of sweat and Drakkar Noir cologne was the scent. I’m not ashamed to say that I enjoyed sex – like really enjoyed sex – as a teenage girl. Part of it was the pure physical pleasure in my recently changed body, and part of it was the attention from boys and the control I could exert with - and over - my own body.


When I was barely 18, in the last half of the last year of high school, already dreaming of running away to my new life in college, I spent a lusty and lovely night with a sweet boy in my class. We were careful, we thought, and we were young and dumb and exploring how our bodies could fit together. And without even taking a test, a few weeks later, I knew we’d made a mistake that night and that I was pregnant. This boy was kind and supportive and knew innately that whatever happened next was my choice, because it was my body.


I called a Planned Parenthood clinic to make an appointment, and we crowdsourced funds from our friends to cover the expenses. I felt nothing but relief after I had a safe abortion at a clinic near Boston. And I have looked back so many times and thanked whatever stars aligned that let me be alive as a pregnant teenager in that time and place – those stars that let me have control of my own life’s path especially so early on in my journey. And I know that I had privilege with those stars.

15 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

My first husband was dissatisfied with his mother and when later in our marriage, he fell on hard times, he made it clear that he expected me to fill that mommy void in his life. This happened soon a

bottom of page